Allie has been my best girlfriend FOREVER. Like, embarrassingly long. Our friendship has ebbed and flowed as life has taken us on different journeys, but it has always been there and I don’t see that changing.
We live in different states and time zones; my kids are grown and hers are still in elementary school. None of that matters.
We connect often enough and we are always there when crisis strikes.
And that’s the beauty of a girlfriend.
Girlfriends: The Different Types
There are different types of girlfriends and you can have one that fulfills most roles, or you may need to have several. Here are the five BFFs every woman needs:
Best Friend from Childhood. She knows every secret, but would never tell. This is Allie for me. I wore hideous peach chiffon for her wedding, she wore Pepto Bismol pink for mine. I helped her through two divorces without her needing rehab. She spent hours telling stories to my kids of my misspent youth and is now trying to keep me from returning the favor with hers! No matter how long between visits, our talk picks right up because she knows all the players.
The Realist. She’s the friend that tells it like it is. She loves you dearly and gives it to you straight. She won’t tolerate “wallowing” and her advice is blunt. I remember one time I was lamenting to Allie about how hard life was and she said “well, fix it. If you don’t want to fix it, don’t whine about it.”
The Alter Ego. She’s everything you’re not. You avoid confrontation, she walks up to the person and says “What is WRONG” with you?”. When you’re being quiet, she drags you out. When you are with her, you feel more daring, more willing to take risks. One time I visited Allie in Phoenix and we were sitting around trying to figure out what to do and she randomly suggests we drive to Palm Springs for the weekend. She has definitely taught me to let go of plans and just GO!
The Gossip. This friend knows everything about everybody. She loves to dish and makes you laugh all the time. I guess, since we live in different states, that Allie doesn’t help me much with this now, but, boy did she know everything important going on in our high school!
The “Other” BFF. He is your best male friend. He gives you a different perspective without hidden agendas (like our partners might). When he tells you that you look hot in that dress, you know you look hot!
Girlfriends: The Different Reasons
Now that we know the types of BFFs we all need, we can get to the why are they so important. From an article, here are the top 6 reasons women need their girlfriends:
Shopping. One time Allie and I met in Las Vegas and went shopping. It was amazing! She brought me new outfits to try on, ran for different sizes and gave it to me straight about what worked and what looked horrid. I still have some of those clothes today!
Group Therapy. Your friends give you unique perspectives no matter what life throws you; relationships, work, stress, family… You just don’t have to explain much for them to know what you mean.
Guilty Pleasures. So your partner isn’t into knitting. Bet you know some girlfriends who are and will let you indulge with no judgment.
Girls Night Out (or In). Being in the presence of a group of people who love, support and complement you can give you a sense of playful freedom, bringing out that often-hidden side of you.
Sex and Body Talk. Some things should remain a mystery for our love interest. But, dang! we could use some advice. Enter the girlfriend: she can handle it.
Venting. We all need to commiserate with like-minded people sometimes. And sometimes we just need the sigh of envy when we recount the uber-romantic thing our partner just did.
So there you have it. When we are busy juggling careers, mommy-ness, partners and our own bodies and minds, we get stressed out. Best girlfriends help with all that.
I am lucky; I have Allie to fill that role for me and I try to be that person for he,r too.
Besides, she knows WAY too many of my secrets to let her get away now!
Leaving you with this from the lighter side: A good friend will help you move, but a your best girlfriend will help you move a body.